Most people assume that if you’re an interior designer, your home must be straight out of Architectural Digest—a flawlessly curated, effortlessly chic space where every item is intentional and nothing is out of place.
The reality? I hate the wallpaper I added in my dining room (you could say it was an experiment), my "office" is also a wine cellar, guest bedroom, and gym, and my dining and bedroom furniture is matchy-matchy (which is a sin). Designing for others? Easy. Designing for myself? LOL, oh boy, hold on to your butts.
If you’re an interior designer, you already know the struggle. If you’re not, buckle up—because designing our own homes is somehow the hardest project of them all.
1. Imposter Syndrome Hits Harder at Home: The Personal Stage of Design Doubt
When you work in a creative field, there’s always that nagging voice whispering, “Are you actually good at this?” But when your own home doesn’t look like your portfolio, that voice gets louder, and it brings its judgmental friends. Clients follow your work, friends and family assume your space should be an ever-changing masterpiece, and suddenly, the pressure is on.
Unlike a client’s home, where decisions are made efficiently and backed by years of expertise, our own homes become a slow-motion existential crisis. Every choice feels personal, and suddenly, the stakes feel too high. It's like performing brain surgery on yourself – you know the techniques, but the emotional investment makes it infinitely more complex.
Why Imposter Syndrome Feels Worse When It’s Your Own Home
People Have Unrealistic Expectations of Your Space
They envision a meticulously planned, flawlessly executed showpiece. Instead, they find a lived-in space with the occasional pile of laundry and a slightly crooked picture frame. They expect a museum, and you’re just trying to live.
You Feel Like You Have to Prove Yourself
Your home becomes a visual resume, a tangible representation of your talent. If it's not perfect, you fear you'll be exposed as a fraud. The pressure to maintain a facade of effortless perfection is immense.
There’s No Clear Deadline—So Nothing Feels ‘Done’
Client projects have closure; your home is a perpetual work in progress. It's like painting the Golden Gate Bridge – by the time you finish, it's time to start again. This lack of completion fuels a constant sense of inadequacy.
You Judge Your Own Choices More Than Anyone Else
Every design decision is scrutinized under a microscope. A client's mistake is a learning opportunity; yours is a personal failing. You become your harshest critic, second-guessing every choice.
Comparing Yourself to Other Designers
Social media is a highlight reel, showcasing only the most polished and curated spaces. You compare your everyday reality to these meticulously crafted illusions, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome in Your Own Home
Remember That ‘Perfect’ Homes Don’t Exist: Even the most stunning interiors have flaws. Focus on creating a space that reflects your personality and lifestyle, not an unattainable ideal.
Give Yourself a ‘Client Mindset’: Treat yourself as a client, setting a budget, establishing a timeline, and creating a clear design plan. This external perspective can help you make more objective decisions.
Let Go of the ‘Big Reveal’ Fantasy: Your home is a living, breathing space that evolves over time. Embrace the process and celebrate small victories along the way.
Stop Overthinking Every Decision: Design is subjective. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to make mistakes. Remember, paint can be changed.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate the progress you've made, no matter how small. Every completed project is a step in the right direction.
2. The “Magazine-Ready” Myth: The Illusion of Perfection
Non-designers often assume that designers live in perfectly curated homes at all times. In reality, we’re just as guilty of impulse buys, outdated furniture, and unfinished rooms as everyone else. But because we know how to create beautiful spaces, it feels even worse when ours don’t measure up.
It's like a mechanic driving a car with a check engine light on. We preach the importance of quality and craftsmanship, yet we often compromise in our own spaces due to time constraints, budget limitations, or sheer indecision.
What’s the saying? Do as I say, not as I do. That applies here too. We preach investment pieces, thoughtful curation, and avoiding trends that don’t last—but then we end up buying that one cheap side table just to fill the space. (We hate ourselves for it, but it stays.)
How to Overcome It:
Accept that your home is a work in progress, just like everyone else’s: There is no finish line.
Don’t compare your everyday space to a perfectly styled Instagram post: Social media is a curated illusion.
3. The “I’ll Just Wait Until I Find the Perfect Piece” Lie: The Quest for the Unicorn
Clients get well-curated options and quick decision-making. But at home? We convince ourselves that the perfect dining table is out there somewhere, so we wait. And wait. And six years later, we’re still eating dinner at a placeholder table from IKEA.
We tell clients all the time, Your home is allowed to evolve! You can always swap things out later! But when it’s our own space, suddenly, it’s a game of “let’s just suffer in limbo until we find a unicorn piece of furniture that may or may not exist.”
How to Overcome It:
Set a Realistic Time Limit: Give yourself a deadline for finding that elusive piece. If you haven't found it by then, opt for a "good enough" solution that you can upgrade later.
Embrace the Temporary: Recognize that placeholder furniture or decor isn't a life sentence. It's a stepping stone.
Define "Perfect": Often the perfect piece does not exist. Define what aspects are most important, and find an item that meets those needs.
Consider Custom: If you have the budget, and truly cannot find what you want, custom design an item.
4. We Know Too Much, and That’s the Problem: The Curse of Knowledge
When a non-designer buys a sofa, they think: Do I like it? Does it fit? Cool, let’s buy it.
When a designer buys a sofa, the internal monologue goes something like:
What’s the frame made of?
What’s the rub count of the fabric?
Will this be considered trendy in five years?
Can I get it in a different COM fabric?
What’s the lead time?
Will this retailer even exist in five years?
And suddenly, decision fatigue kicks in and we just… never buy the sofa.
How to Overcome It:
Simplify Your Criteria: Prioritize the most important factors (e.g., comfort, durability, style) and let go of the less critical ones.
Set a Decision-Making Time Limit: Limit the time you spend researching and analyzing. Set a timer, and when it goes off, make a choice.
Trust Your Initial Instincts: Often, your first impression is the right one. Stop overthinking and trust your gut.
Consult a fellow designer: Ask for advice from a peer. Having an outside opinion can help to simplify the process.
5. The Budget Tug-of-War: The Internal Financial Debate
We tell clients where to invest and where to save, but when it’s our money, suddenly it’s a struggle. We know the value of a high-end sofa, but also… have you seen the price of a Restoration Hardware sofa?
It's a constant internal battle between our professional knowledge and our personal finances.
How to Overcome It:
Create a Dedicated Home Design Budget: Allocate a specific amount of money for your home projects, separate from your business and personal expenses.
Prioritize Investments: Identify the areas where quality matters most (e.g., sofa, mattress) and allocate more funds to those items.
Explore Budget-Friendly Alternatives: Research affordable options, such as vintage finds, secondhand marketplaces, or DIY projects.
Create a savings plan: If there is a very expensive item you want, create a plan to save for it.
6. Our Homes Are Basically a Testing Lab: The Experimental Playground
Clients get our refined, polished ideas. Our homes, however, are where the questionable experiments happen. That bold tile we weren’t quite sure about? Let’s just try it in our own bathroom first. That crazy wallpaper pattern? Eh, we’ll put it in the powder room and see how we feel.
Essentially, our homes end up as a patchwork of “maybe this works?” test runs. Some turn out amazing! Others… well, we learn from them. (Or we eventually rip them down and pretend it never happened—hence the wallpaper in the dining room.)
How to Overcome It:
Designate Specific Test Areas: Limit your experiments to certain rooms or areas, rather than making your entire home a patchwork of experiments.
Document Your Experiments: Keep track of what works and what doesn't, so you can learn from your experiences and avoid repeating mistakes.
Create a moodboard for test areas: Even test areas should have a cohesive plan.
Embrace the temporary: Use items that can be easily changed, like paint, or removable wallpaper.
7. Time Is Money, Money Is Time: The Priority Paradox
A paying client gets top priority. That’s just business. But when it comes to our own homes, we procrastinate because, well… no one’s paying us to do it.
We spend hours sourcing the perfect coffee table for a client, but when it’s for ourselves? Suddenly, we’re scrolling endlessly, questioning everything, and ultimately doing nothing. It’s the paradox of choice mixed with the fact that our time is best spent on actual income-generating projects.
How to Overcome It:
Schedule Dedicated Home Design Time: Block out specific time slots in your calendar for working on your own home projects.
Treat Your Home Like a Client Project: Set deadlines, create a project plan, and hold yourself accountable.
Break Down Projects into Smaller Tasks: Divide large projects into manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Hire Help: If your budget allows, hire contractors or assistants to help with tasks you don't have time for.
8. Decisions Are Easier When It’s Not Your Own Home: The Detached Perspective
Deadlines work wonders for decision-making. When designing for a client, we set a direction, make quick choices, and move forward. There’s no overthinking because the timeline (and budget) demand efficiency.
But for our own homes? There’s no deadline. No one is pushing us to make a final call. So, instead of picking a paint color and moving on, we end up with 27 sample swatches on the wall for six months.
How to Overcome It:
Create a “Client Profile” for Yourself: Define your style, needs, and preferences as if you were a client.
Set Firm Deadlines: Impose deadlines on yourself to create a sense of urgency and avoid procrastination.
Limit your options: When choosing items, give yourself a small amount of options to choose from.
Seek outside input: Ask a friend, family member, or fellow designer for their opinion.
9. You Have to Look at It Every Day: The Constant Visual Reminder
Here’s a wild thought: When we design for clients, we don’t have to live in the space. We create the vision, execute it, and move on to the next project. But at home, every decision lingers.
That trendy wallpaper we loved in the moment? Now we have to wake up to it every morning. The stunning-but-impractical chair? We’re the ones awkwardly avoiding sitting in it. There’s an added layer of stress knowing that we are our own client—and let’s be honest, we are the most critical ones.
How to Overcome It:
Create a “Visual Detox” Routine: Regularly declutter and organize your space to minimize visual distractions.
Focus on Functionality: Prioritize creating a space that meets your needs and supports your lifestyle, rather than solely focusing on aesthetics.
Create spaces for relaxation: Create areas that are calm and peaceful.
Remember that change is ok: If you hate something, change it.
So What’s the Solution?
Honestly? Acceptance. Interior designers need to give themselves the same grace they give their clients. A home is meant to be lived in, not just looked at. It’s okay if the space isn’t “finished.” It’s okay if it doesn’t look like a showroom (because it shouldn’t anyway). And it’s okay if you still haven’t picked a damn light fixture for the entryway.
The truth is, our homes reflect our lives. They evolve. They change. And sometimes, they’re just a little chaotic. And that’s perfectly fine.
Final Thoughts
If you’re an interior designer struggling with your own home, know this: You are not alone. We all suffer from analysis paralysis, budget battles, and the overwhelming weight of perfectionism. But at the end of the day, done is better than perfect. So go ahead—paint the walls, swap the furniture, and make your home feel like you.
Because sometimes, the best design choice is simply making a choice.
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